


Fluid

by withyouandmeitsdifferent



Category: Glee
Genre: Confusion, Friendship, M/M, Sexuality, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 13:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5418146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withyouandmeitsdifferent/pseuds/withyouandmeitsdifferent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is unsure where the line between friendship and romantic love intersect.</p><p>And when did that line become so blurry?</p><p>Or Sam realizes he's totally screwed (but not in a good way).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fluid

The Loft Party Extravaganza/Train Wreck, New York Edition, is supposedly going to be in celebration of Blaine, Sam and Artie graduating and being in the Big Apple.

At least that’s what Rachel and Kurt are claiming anyway.

But Sam’s pretty sure it’s mostly just an excuse to get wasted good and properly.

But, hey, two birds with one stone or whatever.

Sam would love to hop on that band wagon anyway. He can definitely get on board with getting a little wasted after his first three weeks in New York.

New York living turns out to be much less awesome than New York touristing. For starters the people are pretty rude, it smells like garbage all the time and apparently the brony tail is not appreciated here at all as a respectable and/or hire-able grooming decision.

Plus, crashing on Kurt’s couch is making Sam paranoid. Are those artfully mastered ‘bitch, please’ looks from Kurt every time Sam so much as crosses his path really happening? Is it even physically possible for Kurt to side eye him from that angle?

Or is it all just Sam’s imagination?

Sam might have— accidentally of course—back in junior year, walked in on Kurt fucking Blaine’s face like some kind of Wanton Sex God and admittedly Sam might have voyuered for a few moments longer (and more quietly) than strictly necessary.

Sam totally got why after being caught perving on the boys that day in Junior year, Kurt’s weeklong cold rage towards him was justified and scary.

After being exposed during junior year to the fact that Blaine and Kurt engage in a lot of (kinky) sex, these days Sam always makes sure to be scarce a couple times a day so they can do it like a couple of mammals on the Discovery channel.

And even when Sam is playing Roller Coaster Tycoon, like, 15 feet away and he can totally hear when—without any kind of heads-up or anything—Blaine and Kurt start going at it on the other side of the privacy curtain, Sam, like a true, non-cockblocking bro pretends he can’t hear Blaine begging for Kurt’s cock or whatever.

But Sam can still feel the way Kurt’s eyes disapprovingly judge his couch-crashing, brony tail rocking, jobless self afterwards.

Or maybe Sam is just projecting his shit on to Kurt.

Getting wasted seems like the perfect way to find out.

2.

Sam knows just how to pace himself to maximum buzz enjoyment. So, little more than an hour into the Loft Party Extravaganza (New York Edition), he only just finishes his second red Solo cup of rum and diet coke.

Head pleasently spinning, Sam grins at Rachel who seems relaxed but quiet with a still mostly full wine cooler in her hand. Just as he is about to approach her, a warm hand catches his wrist and stops him.

Bemused, Sam turns and finds himself with an unexpected, but not unwelcome, armful of Blaine when the smaller boy stumbles into Sam. Blaine nuzzles into Sam’s chest and buries his face into Sam’s neck causing raspberry hair gel to tickle at Sam’s nose.

Sam can’t help but smile. He braces one arm around Blaine’s waist to steady his best friend and tugs at the free curls along the nape of Blaine’s neck with his free hand. Sam can’t remember much of drunken Blaine from sophomore year except the rather clear memory of 15 year old Blaine falling off of Rachel’s basement stage after singing a perfect yet impromptu duet with her.

The memory brings a wave of sadness and affection. He and Blaine didn’t have each other back then.

Blaine feels hot against Sam’s neck and small in his arms. Sam knows Blaine isn’t exactly a big guy or anything, but usually his confidence and charm make up for Blaine’s compact stature. So it’s not often that Sam thinks of Blaine as little but holding him now and feeling the way Blaine’s stretching up just to be able to hook his chin over Sam’s shoulders, Sam thinks maybe Britt is taller than Blaine.

He wraps both his arms around Blaine easily and whispers into his ear. “You okay, Blaine?”

Blaine pulls away so he can beam up at Sam happily, he bounces on his toes and reaches up to put his arm over Sam’s shoulder. “Yeah! Best party ever!”

Sam laughs and knocks his hip against Blaine’s. Blaine loses his balance and grabs onto Sam’s chest to steady himself, his fingers brushing first lightly than again more firmly over Sam’s pec.

“Oh,” Blaine says, his fingers lingering against Sam’s chest.

The heat pooling in Sam’s belly as Blaine’s fingertips glide over his chest and as Blaine’s thumb brushes his nipple has nothing to do with Blaine’s warm weight in Sam’s arms, it has nothing to do with Blaine’s hot breath ghosting across Sam’s neck. No, the heat in Sam’s belly is from the two rum and diet cokes and not from the warmth in Blaine’s smile.

3.

Mercedes bright presence is a well timed and much needed distraction. With Mercedes heavy and beautiful and warm over Sam on the couch, everything feels like it’s supposed to again. Everything about their relationship is straightforward and simple, it’s the same easy give and take Sam knows from every romantic relationship he’s ever had.

The novelty and simplicity of being Mercedes’ boyfriend again make it easy to forget about the shape and warmth and feeling of Blaine tucked into his chest. Until, that is, Sam can’t help but remember.

The call comes in the evening.

Kurt is in the hospital. Kurt is in the hospital because of homophobic assholes.

And Blaine stands strong and tall and courageous at Kurt’s bedside and all Sam keeps hearing on repeat in his head is Kurt yelling at Blaine, “calm down, psycho. “

Sam watches Blaine be strong and it breaks his heart because Sam knows Blaine’s demons hide really far down and Blaine knows how to make everyone believe what they need to but the wounds Blaine carries are deep. And if Kurt is incapcitated who will make sure Blaine is okay?

Of course, Kurt doesn’t open his eyes just because Sam wants him to and Blaine won’t crumble when someone he loves needs him.

It’s almost a week later when Sam and Blaine are sitting together in the living room, close but not touching, when Blaine breaks down.

Quietly, Blaine begins to sob. Something deep inside Sam stirs and before he can even think about what he’s doing he already has Blaine wrapped in his arms.

Muscle memory, Sam thinks as he settles Blaine’s weight against his own.

4.

That night Sam dreams of Blaine’s pretty pink mouth wrapped around his cock, hazel eyes locked with Sam’s as he lets Sam fuck his hot, hot throat.

When Sam wakes up, he’s wet with sweat and his own semen.

It’s not until the next night— when Sam has the same dream but with the positions reversed, Blaine letting his meticulous control go for a private moment and thrusting with unrestrained passion into Sam’s waiting, eager mouth— that Sam knows he’s completely fucked.

And not even in a good way.

5.

 

Sam needs to have sex with Mercedes, like, right now. Because she’s his beautiful sexy girlfriend and it’s been long enough that he’s having wet dreams about his sweet, very male, very engaged to someone else, best friend.

And if anything can get his mind off Blaine and more importantly off of the fantasy of getting down on his knees to suck Blaine’s cock, it’s gotta be taking that last leap with Mercedes and making love to her.

The problem is that Mercedes isn’t ready to make that leap yet. And Sam respects what she wants and he’s never meet anyone so sure and pure and true as Mercedes.

And, truly, honestly, madly, deeply, he loves her so much.

But …

But the thing that even he doesn’t understand, not really, is that he loves Blaine too.

So if Mercedes isn’t ready to have sex, how are they and their relationship any different, how is what Sam and Mercedes have, how is it any different than what he has with his best friend?

How is it any different from being really close friends?

How is it any different from what he has with Blaine?

Sam doesn’t know and more than anything that’s what scares him most.


End file.
